remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
