That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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