It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
