New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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