Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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