Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize