Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
