dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
