If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
that is very illegal...i love you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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