I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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