I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
