I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
