i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
