My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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