You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
