Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
