This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I know her cup size but not her name....
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
