All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
