At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize