based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
