he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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