allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
