I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
