Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
