my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
