i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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