nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
