did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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