at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
