Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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