JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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