Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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