just come out here and I will go home with you...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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