they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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