would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm too high and old for this...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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