She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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