so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
only you would photoshop your dick
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
