Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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