Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
