Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
