belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
