We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize