Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
