Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
