apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
