i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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