you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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