I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
