I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize