You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
