My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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