i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize