She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
