you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
