i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
