Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize