I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
