You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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