defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
