When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
