Do vagina's smell?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
