Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
When are your genitals available?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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