There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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