We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I love having hate sex.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
