The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
