No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
