I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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