Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
