is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
