apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize