Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she told me i tasted like america
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize