There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
