I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
